Why Selene?

Hi! I'm Selene Rosalie. Welcome to my blog. If you're here reading this, then you probably knew me as Rogue Envee. And I'm willing to bet that some of you are curious as to why I decided to change my name. Some of you are merely curious, while others may not have the purest intentions. The truth is, I don't care why you're here; I'm just happy that you are.

No matter the reason you want to know why, I know it's natural to wonder. I have debated over explaining myself. It would have been easy to make a facebook post or explain it in my patreon. But I view my name change as a personal decision. It's really no one's business why I did it. And to be honest, it's tiresome to explain it over and over again.

But I have gone through an intense period of self growth over the last year, and really developed who I am as a performer: what my personality traits are, how I will interact with people both audience and peer, and what my goals are for burlesque. One of the things I have decided is vital to Selene's success is transparency. And so, this blog post is born, along with this post to explain to whomever why I changed my name and how I came up with Selene Rosalie.

Flashback to March. Long story short? The scene was no longer healthy for me. I felt ostracized, and I resented people who were my friends. I felt angry that people were accomplishing things I wanted, who had performed a lot shorter amount of time than I had. I lashed out and didn't have a healthy outlet. In my personal life, I was dealing with a lot. All that together was detrimental.

Let me back up further. When I started performing, it started as a hobby. It was my way of pushing outside my comfort zone, and living through a persona that was everything I wanted to be. But it wasn't fun anymore. It was so much work to get into character, I had anxiety attacks. There was so much drama in the scene, I didn't even want to be in the bars I was performing in anymore. I was trying to meet all these expectations that other people placed on me; ones that I didn't agree with and did nothing but make me more angry. And I no longer had the financial means to comfortably support Rogue. I always said that the day it stopped being fun, I would need to stop. So I did. I disconnected completely. I separated from everything burlesque, drag, and focused on self love.

Fast forward to August. I had decided that I wanted to come back eventually, even if I wasn't ready at that time. I was going to come back healthier than I ever had as a performer. I had set goals for myself, and I knew what my limits were. I was no longer going to make performance decisions for anyone other than me. Like I said earlier, Rogue was a character I created to live through. The name meant nothing to me- it had no back story other than I just liked it. She was sexy and seductive and everything I wanted to be but thought I wasn't. In a lot of ways, she was so different from my actual personality, that it was exhausting at times to be her. And I started to resent her for how she made me feel. This comeback needed a new persona. One that was an extension of my real self rather than a contradiction. Once I made that decision, I knew I also needed a new name.

And I wanted it to be one that meant something to me. I wanted a back story. So I started researching and this is where I came up with her:

Selene- The Titan Goddess of the Moon. There are several other goddesses associated with the moon but she is the only one represented as the moon incarnate by the old Greek poets.

I am a lover of the night. A night owl, if you will. If I had the option, I would sleep all day and stay up all night. I am also a believer in the universe as my higher power. It is essential for me to feel connected to the universe, and I absolutely believe it will give you everything you need if you believe. All this, along with following astrology, tarot, and the atmosphere, when I found Selene I knew it was the name.

I really struggled with the last name. It took me weeks to find something as appropriate and meaningful for me. I researched animals that I connect with, family names, spiritual names, and more. Then I found Rosalie:

Rosalie- an adaptation from Rosie, who was the elephant in the movie and book "Water for Elephants" and also an elephant who helped develop Miami, Florida with Carl Fisher in the 1920s.

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE elephants. I believe they are my spirit animal. I connect with the character of Rosie in "Water for Elephants" also. Rosie didn't go so well with Selene, so I looked up adaptations and got Rosalie.

Well, there you have it! I hope you enjoyed reading!

See you next time,

XO Selene.

#burlesque #namechange #elephants #moongoddess